Pity Party at my place.

Hunter is 10 and is doing very well considering the beginning of our journey. He's a year behind in school but if he understands that it doesn't seem to bother him. Academically he's doing great!
He's never gotten a test score lower than 80% and he's always gotten high marks and Satisfactories on his report card. This past term his printing has finally been good enough to get an Honor Roll award he's been deserving since he began grade school. Here he is with it:

Anyway - I'm close to reaching my breaking point with the things that I just can't seem to "fix", for lack of a better word, in him. One is, he is still on a schedule to remember to go poo. If he's not asked/reminded, he'll make a mess in his underwear. I've gone to the school two times to pick him up and one time Hunter "adamantly denied" writes the teacher in the notebook, that he had an accident, but apparently it could be smelled. I toss the towel he uses after his shower into the washing machine because it almost always has poop on it. Part of his routine is using the toilet before getting in the shower every night and I don't know if he forgets to wipe, thinks getting in the shower will take care of it...but obviously he's not cleaning himself well in the shower and getting the towel all icky afterward. He gets mad and frustrated if I ask him if he needs help. I offer in ways saying things like it's hard to reach your back to scrub, or difficult to balance on one foot, so let me help, but no. He gets upset and I have to leave. At least now his showers aren't 30 minutes long, sometimes at the end of which his hair isn't even wet!

He says things that just don't make any sense and come out of his mouth at inappropriate times. He says Prove it all the darn time. He asks me my likes or opinions, then he says, 'Prove it, he does something wrong, 'Prove it, he does something RIGHT, he says, 'Prove it!'. He probably got it from some cartoon show. He thinks we want to hear all about his favorite shows and I listen and show interest but I also want to hear about school and what does he think about this or about that, but he clams up. If it's not something he starts he doesn't participate unless we demand it. And his speech...he doesn't stutter but he chops his words off and pauses so much you think he's done, but he has a hard time putting words into sentences and saying what he wants to say. Except of course when he's repeating something he's read/heard. We were going over his Social Studies book for a test and if he's interested, he remembers no problem and his speech is just about perfect, but trying to talk to him, even about his cartoons, it's difficult for me to listen to him struggle to put sentences together.

He's 10 years old...it's embarassing to admit this, but I'm tying his shoes for him. Up until about six weeks ago, he was wearing shoes that velcroed. But shoe's his size aren't made that way and I joked he won't be seeing Velcro on his shoes for many, many years...but he didn't catch my meaning. He gets so frustrated when I try to show him how, saying only that he's not good at tying, that he can only untie. I tell him he has to practice, that he wasn't a pro at, fill in the blank here, in the beginning, that it took practice for him to be good at it. He sees me coming with his shoe and his shoulders drop and he goes into like a robot mode. My hubby suggested that I make it a part of his homework every night and that I only do one part of the process each night and he practices that part until he's got it down before introducing the next part. It's so wonderful to have a partner in this and I appreciate my husband so much.

Oh those darn small toys he has to carry around! It's not even toys, many times it's coins, paper clips and most recently I've been finding the tops of pencils (the erasers AND the silver part that holds the erasers) off the pencils and on the floor where Bryce has found them. Many times both my hubby and I have had to tell Hunter to put the toy in his pocket to help carry something or do something that involves both hands. He's stolen earrings and rings from me, some might never be found again, because they are small and he likes them. He knows stealing from other people and stores is wrong, but why does he think it's OK to take from me, even after I've caught him before and talked to him about it??

He's been trying to catch me naked either in the bathroom or my bedroom. When I ask him if he needs something or that I need some privacy, he does his fake laugh and walks away. We've had this discussion many times about private parts and nobody seeing them but parents and doctors, but he sighs at me and says he knows, he knows. How can I satisfy his curiosity without standing naked in front of him?? Is there a book I can give him that won't reveal too much? This concerns me for many reasons.

He thinks he's going to get in trouble, so he sneaks food and drink! I have found wrappers, empty cans, juice boxes, plastic bottles under his bed, in his desk drawer, behind toys in other rooms, inside closets. I rarely say no to him and I've told him as long as he's not eating after he brushes his teeth at night and that's it's not his dad's last pop, he can have whatever he likes, but I can still hear the pantry being open so slowly so it won't squeak and I know he's in the drawer getting a utensil out because I hear the slow, cold ring of metal being taken slowly from it's place. Sometimes at dinner if he doesn't like something I can see him looking up at me and back to his food, like he's hoping I'll notice him looking at me and that I'll tell him he doesn't have to eat it. We've learned the hard way what happens if he eats something that clashes with his tongue....

I can't get him to eat anything but what he's been eating for many years now and now he's overweight. He walks on the treadmill no problem (he gets to watch cartoons while doing it) but it's pointless if all I can get him to eat is fish sticks, chicken nuggets and grilled cheese. He does eat lettuce and carrots, but only with Ranch dressing.

Anyone have any comments or advice? With an almost three year old, a one year old, my lack of sleep with household and business obligations to fullfill, my patience has unfortunately been stretched thin and I've started to snap at Hunter when he does the same things I've talked to him about over and over again.